i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
