Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
