whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize