saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
