I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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