"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
