You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
