my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
