Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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