Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
