so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
