I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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