why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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