a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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