I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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