elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
