carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
