we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
