i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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