Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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