just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
