i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
