Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
