is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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