She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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