and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
