he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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