Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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