New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
