DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
