is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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