if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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