I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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