Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
