Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
