Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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