So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
