Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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