I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
