Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
