Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry roots hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(660): View more from Missouri

And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

Fav 3 3354 954
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.

Fav 24 1422 4737
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

Fav 17 8770 1609
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.

Fav 19 8740 1439
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.

Fav 5 3725 1289
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.

Fav 9 1984 769
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(712): View more from Iowa

You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

Fav 11 978 1961
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Shit is preposterous

Fav 2 1007 690
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.

Fav 0 25 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT