are you still at the devil's house?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
