So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
