How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
