I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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