god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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