didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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