I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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