For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
