I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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