Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
