how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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