Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
