no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
