Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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